I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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