i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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