BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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