so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
