Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
high people should be assigned attendants
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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