I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
