There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
