Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
