im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
