they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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