So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
