watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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