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Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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