You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
