she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
