Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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