South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
