Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Randomize
