i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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