He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I pour the whiskey from now on
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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