Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
