I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
