No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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