and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
