try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
