I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i've created a new STD.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
