I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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