But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
