I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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