I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
