at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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