gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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