i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
