Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
