HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I enjoy the company of your penis
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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