sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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