Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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