Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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