I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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