He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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