haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
