Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
