How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize