That's when you crack a 10am beer
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
