The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
