he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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