just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
