Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
