Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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