it wasn't lemon gatorade
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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