If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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