Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
