you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
