there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
