Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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