ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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